Just as some people need to receive help in different ways, some people prefer to be treated in different ways.
To be empathetic, we need to first understand others to then be able to place ourselves in their shoes.
This is where the idea of The Davy Rule comes in. To "treat others in ways that are valuable to them". Or put another way "we treat our friends how they want to be treated and they treat us how we want to be treated". The Golden Rule simply doesn't work.
Think of The Davy Rule the next time you want to do something good for someone else. Get to know them. Find out what they like.